Questions to ask to advance the donor’s hero story

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Socratic fundraising

Socratic inquiry uses questions. But just asking questions isn’t enough. To be Socratic, the questions must guide toward a goal.

In fundraising, the “one big thing” is always the same: Advance the donor’s hero story. Socratic fundraising can do this.

The hero story steps

In the universal hero story (monomyth), a guiding sage often kicks off the hero’s journey. The sage challenges the hero with a choice. It’s a challenge to

  • Go beyond his small, self-focused original world,
  • Pursue the hope of victory impacting the larger world, and
  • Become a transformed (internal) and honored (external) victor who brings a boon back to his original world.

In the donor’s hero story, the fundraiser is the guiding sage. This guiding sage challenges with a choice. This happens at the ask. A compelling fundraising challenge

  • Connects to the donor’s original identity (history, people, or values),
  • Promises the hope of a victory impacting the larger world, and
  • Delivers enhanced identity: internal (private meaning) or external (public reputation).
The hero story cycle

The hero story progresses through

A box and arrow diagram where "Original identity"​ links to "Challenge"​ links to "Victory"​ links to "Enhanced Identity"​

In three words, this is: identity, challenge, and victory.

A circular diagram where "Identity"​ (bottom left) links with an arrow pointing to "Challenge"​ (top middle) which links with an arrow pointing to "Victory"​ (bottom right) which links with a backwards arrow pointing back to "Identity"​

In fundraising, including each step makes the ask compelling. Completing the cycle advances the donor’s hero story. Let’s look at the ideas underlying each step.

Original Identity → Challenge

In other words, “I am the kind of person who makes gifts like this.” Why?

  • Because of my people,

i.e., “People like me make gifts like this.”

  • Because of my values,

i.e., “Giving to this cause or charity fits my values.”

  • Because of my history,

i.e., “Giving to this cause or charity fits my life story.”

Victory → Enhanced Identity

In other words, “I want to be (or be seen as) the kind of person who makes an impact like this.” Why?

  • Because of my people,

i.e., “This impact helps (or is supported by) people like me (or with me).”

  • Because of my values,

i.e., “My values make this impact meaningful to me.”

  • Because of my history,

i.e., “My life story makes this impact meaningful to me.”

Challenge → Victory

In other words, “The gift will make this tangible (visualizable) impact.”

The tightening spiral

In Socratic fundraising, the donor tells his story. But the goal is to get the donor to tell his story about these steps: identity, challenge, and victory. The steps in this story cycle aren’t just a one-time process. They’re an ongoing, repeated, circular narrative.[1]

Socratic fundraising progresses from general to specific. The circle becomes a spiral. It moves from broad to narrow. The process can start with wide-open, sweeping cycles.

This might first elicit the donor’s identity elements. This includes:

  • People: The donor’s family and affiliations
  • Values: The donor’s beliefs and principles, and
  • History: The donor’s key life story elements.

Questions can connect these identity elements to giving (i.e., the challenge) and to impact (i.e., the victory). This completes the circle. It connects identity, challenge, and victory.

Then the circle becomes smaller.

It connects these identity elements with a specific cause or charity.

Then the circle becomes smaller.

It connects these identity elements with a specific project or work within the charity.

Then the circle becomes smaller.

Just before the ask, the proposal reviews and confirms each step in the cycle.

Finally, the smallest circle is the challenge phrase itself.

The ask itself references each step in the cycle.

The process is like a tightening spiral or mandala. The three-step cycle is our guide: identity, challenge, and victory. If our questions are building these three connections, they’re advancing the story. Otherwise, we’re just making conversation.

Step-by-step

The compelling challenge requires these three links. Socratic fundraising can help. It can build these links through the following steps.

  1. Justify asking questions.
  2. Ask questions that
    • Connect with the donor’s identity (Original Identity → Challenge), and
    • Define a personally meaningful victory (Victory → Enhanced Identity).
  3. Ask questions that make the challenge.

The first step is to justify asking questions. For example,

  • I’m interested in your story.
  • I need your help or advice.
  • I can help or advise you.

The next step is to ask questions that connect with the donor’s identity and define a personally meaningful victory. This includes:

  1. Ask opening questions.
  2. Ask follow-up questions.
  3. Ask confirmation questions after reflective statements.
  4. Spot solutions while repeating these steps.

The final step is to ask questions that make the Challenge. This includes

  1. Ask for permission to ask.
  2. Connect the gift with the full story cycle.

Restate and confirm the identity connections. (Original Identity → Challenge; Victory → Enhanced Identity). Make the case for support. (Challenge → Victory).

  1. Ask for the gift.

These theory concepts show up in real-world practice. They match the questions that the best fundraisers often ask. Next are about two hundred examples quoted from top fundraisers. Use them verbatim or create your own. But the key is to understand the cycle.

There isn’t just one “magic” question. Different questions work for different people at different times. Questions become powerful when they’re part of the full story cycle. They’re not just random conversation. They move towards a destination. They advance a story. They advance the donor’s hero story.

Part I: Identity

The following are examples of opening questions and phrases. These connect the donor’s original identity (history, people, or values) with the charity, the cause, or philanthropy.

Identity: Life history

Cause or charity origin story

“When did you first get interested in [this cause]?”[2] “Would you mind telling me how you became connected to the organization?”[3] “How did you first find out about us?”[4] “What first brought your attention to our organization?”[5] “How did you first get involved with the organization?”[6] “How did you get connected to this organization?”[7] “Can you tell me what brought you to [this charity] in the first place?”[8] “How did you get [or come to be] involved with our organization?”[9] “How did you decide to first start supporting ABC Charity?”[10] “What first made you interested in supporting this hospital?”[11] “What got you started as a donor to this organization?”[12] “What led you to make your first gift to the organization?”[13]

Philanthropy origin story

“Where did you learn to give?”[14] “How did you learn to be generous?”[15] “What is your first memory of when you knew it was important to give back and help those people or organizations in need?”[16] “What is your first memory of an act of generosity?”[17]

School or camp origin story

“What are your best memories of your time at ABC Charity?”[18] “What experiences were most meaningful to you during your time as a student?”[19] “What were your favorite moments as a student.”[20] “What’s your favorite place on campus?”[21] “What was the best thing about your experience at our school?”[22] “Did you participate in any activities while a student?”[23] “Tell me about your favorite faculty member.”[24]

Post-origin story journey

“Tell me about your journey since you graduated from the university.”[25] “Tell me about your journey since you were first diagnosed.” “Tell me about your journey since you first became involved in [this cause].”

Cause or charity life history review

“How has [this cause or charity] been important in your life?”[26] “Tell me your ABC Charity story.”[27] “How has [this cause or charity] impacted your life?”[28] “How has the organization’s work affected you personally?”[29] “What have been your past experiences with the organization?”[30] “If you were to tell others about your care at the hospital, how would you describe it?”[31] “What have been your most positive experiences at our charity?”[32] “What is the most meaningful experience you had through your involvement?”[33]

Identity: People

Cause or charity people connections

“Have others in your life been affected by [this cause]?” “Is there anyone in your family who also cared about [this cause]?” “How has [this charity] impacted your family or loved ones?”[34] “Have any of your family members or close friends been involved with our charity?”[35] “Is your giving your decision or do you decide together with someone else? What is their connection to [this charity or cause]?”[36] “Do you have a favorite doctor or staff person at the hospital?”[37] “Do you know any of our leaders, board/committee members, staff, volunteers, or other supporters?”[38]

Philanthropy people connections

“Did your parents or other family members support any charitable causes?” “Can you tell me a bit more about who taught you to be generous or where your generous spirit comes from?”[39] “When you were young, was there anyone whom you considered a role model for giving?”[40] “Who are your philanthropic role models?”[41]

Identity: Values

Values underlying giving motivations

“What inspires you to give?”[42] “What inspired you to make this gift?”[43] “What inspired your first gift?”[44] “Broadly speaking, what is your rationale for charitable giving?”[45] “What inspired you to create your donor advised fund / private family foundation?”[46] “How does your giving reflect your values, your feelings, and your aspirations?”[47]

Values underlying causes supported

“Tell me about a few other causes you support: why do you support them?”[48] “Would you mind telling me about the causes that are most important to you?”[49] “Do you typically give to the same nonprofits each year?”[50] “Why do you support them?”[51] “Where else do you give, and why?”[52] “Where does [this charity] fit in your overall philanthropic priorities?”[53] “Where does our charity fall on your list of charitable priorities?”[54]

Values attributed to others

“What do you think are the most important factors to donors who make a major gift to our institution?”[55] “What is the single most important reason that you believe someone would support the project?”[56] “How can we make giving to this charity more compelling for other donors?”

Identity: Open-ended (history, people, or values)

Connections

“Do you mind if I ask, what is your connection to our mission [or organization]?”[57] “How could we connect with you better?”[58] “How would you like to be more involved?”[59] “Is there any area within the organization where you could see yourself becoming more involved?”[60]

Why us?

“Why do you give to this organization?”[61] “Why do you support us?”[62] “What’s motivated you to be such a consistent supporter [of this charity]?”[63] “Why have you been such a loyal donor?”[64] “Why have you been so loyal?”[65] “Why does what we do interest you?”[66] “Why do you serve on X committee?”[67] “Why does this cause matter to you?”[68] “What’s the key thing that persuaded you to join our cause?”[69] “Why do you care so much that you would sacrifice your precious time and invest your limited dollars to move this mission forward?”[70] “When you think about programs such as ours, what motivates you to support them?”[71] “I understand you haven’t supported our cause significantly in the past; tell me more about that.”[72] “Of all the charities you could support, why do you support us?”[73]

Sidenote: A caution about “Why?”

In the previous questions, we often want to learn “why?” But using this word is risky. “Why?” or “Why did you do that?” can feel like an attack.[74] It’s what we say when a person has done something stupid. It can cause defensiveness. So, be careful with this word. Where possible, consider a substitute.

Part II: Victory

The following are examples of opening questions and phrases to define a meaningful victory.

Victory: Defining the broadest victory

Global victory

“What changes do you believe would make the world a better place?”[75] “If you could change the world, what would you do?”[76] “How would you like to make a difference in this community? In this world?”[77]

Legacy victory

“What would you like to pass on to future generations?”[78] “As you look out to the future, what is the legacy you would like to leave?”[79] “What positive difference do you want to make?”[80]

Victory: Defining a giving victory

No limits victory

“If there were no restrictions on you, what would you like to do philanthropically?”[81] “In the best of all possible worlds, what would you do to support our charity?”[82] “If you could do anything for [this charity], if the sky was the limit, what would that look like to you?”[83] “If money were no object, what would you like to see happen with our program?”[84] “If money were no object, what would we be doing that we’re not now doing?”[85] “If money were no object, what kind of an impact would you like your giving to have?” “What would be your dream gift?”[86]

Overall victory

“What change do you want to see because of your giving?”[87] “What do you want to achieve with your charitable donations?”[88] “What do you hope to achieve with your philanthropy?”[89] “What would you ultimately like to accomplish with your philanthropy at our charity?”[90] “What are your goals for your Donor Advised Fund / Private Family Foundation? How long do you want it to last?”[91] “What are you trying to accomplish with your philanthropy and how might we help?”[92] “As you think about making a difference with your philanthropy, what appeals to you most?”[93] “What kind of impact would you like to have on [this cause / these beneficiaries]?”[94] “Do you have any lifetime charitable goals? Tell me about those.”[95] “What would you like to accomplish with your money / giving / philanthropy in this cause or at this charity that would be meaningful to you?”[96]

Single gift victory

“What are your goals for this gift?”[97] “What kind of impact do you want to make with your gift?”[98] “[If the donor has a current scholarship, endowment, etc., ask] what kind of impact do you ultimately want it to have?”[99] “Have you thought about how you would like your planned bequest gift to be used?”[100] “A year from now, how would you know that you made a wise move with your philanthropic investment in us?”[101] “If you were going to make a significant investment in the hospital, a gift in the million-dollar range, what would you like to accomplish with that gift?”[102]

Victory: Defining an organizational victory

Organizational change victory

“If you could change anything to better [this charity], what would it be?”[103] “You’ve been such a loyal member of the ABC Charity family, and have supported ABC Charity’s mission for so many years, what are your dreams for where you’d like to see ABC Charity go in the future?”[104] “What are your long-term hopes for our charity and its mission?”[105] “If you had the ability to enhance or expand ABC Charity’s mission in a specific way, what would it be? What could we do to be more effective in the future?”[106] “Where do you think we could improve our services or programs?”[107] “Are there any thoughts you’d like me to take back to share with our CEO/ president/ executive director?”[108] “What are the most critical results you expect our organization to produce?”[109] “What could we do better in your opinion?”[110] “If you could change anything about [this organization, issue or project], what would it be?”[111] “If there was one thing you could change about our charity today, what would it be?”[112]

Organizational interest victory

“What areas of [this charity] are you most interested in?”[113] “What interests you personally about the problem we are addressing?”[114] “What excites you the most about our organization’s work in the world?”[115] “What means the most to you personally about what ABC Charity does?”[116] “What were your impressions of the tour? … What intrigued you most?”[117] “Is there a particular program, project, or area of outreach [scholarship fund, award, etc.] that interests you most?”[118]

“If you were to make a significant commitment, is there a particular area you would want your gift to support?”[119] “Based on what you have told me about your experiences, memories, wishes, etc., if I can help you find a way, what at our nonprofit would you most like to support financially?”[120]

Organizational strengths victory

“What do you think we do best?”[121] “What do you think is the best thing about what our non-profit does?”[122] “What contributions to the community does the organization make that are important to you?”[123] “What’s the most exciting thing you’ve heard about our institution recently?”[124]

Victory: Defining a victory with gift options

Victory with a single gift option

“What do you think about this opportunity?” “What is most compelling to you about the project?”[125] “Could you ever see yourself being involved in a project like this?”[126] [After an event describing a project ask] “What were your impressions of the event?”[127]

Victory with a menu of gift options

“Which of these projects would be most meaningful or important to you?” “If you had to choose between making a gift toward the new building, the scholarship fund, or our endowment, which would you select? Why?”[128] “If you could have your family’s name on something like a building, scholarship, lectureship, what would be most meaningful to you?”[129] “After outlining the various projects to be funded by a campaign, ask, ‘If you had the money to fully fund any one aspect of the project, what would it be?’”[130]

Victory: Defining a victory with gift implications

Personal implications

“What if [this goal was accomplished]? What would that mean to you?” “What would it mean for you to make a personal impact in saving, or extending, the lives of women living with breast cancer?”[131] “What would it mean for you and your family to have an enduring impact in improving cancer therapies while assuring your own family’s financial future?”[132] “What are your thoughts about naming facilities or programs after benefactors? … But what about you? How would you feel about associating your name with this project?”[133] “Does your philanthropy give you joy?”[134] “What philanthropic gift has given you the greatest joy? How?”[135] “What makes giving a rewarding experience?”[136]

Community implications

“Why do you think this project is important to the community?”[137] “What would the world look like in ten years, if the women who died of breast cancer last year, hadn’t? How would families and communities be different because of the accomplishments those women would have made?”[138]

Victory: Defining a victory that would overcome a barrier

“What would have to happen for you to say yes [to a gift request, invitation to serve, etc.]?”[139] “So [, yes,] I do understand why you stopped supporting us. What can we do to bring you back into the fold?”[140] “What would motivate you or your business to invest in a nonprofit organization?”[141]

Victory: Defining a victory with past giving

“Tell me about some meaningful gifts that you have made.”[142] “How do you know when you have made a ‘good gift?’ Share a couple of examples of ‘good gifts’ with me. Why did you feel they were good?”[143] “I understand you made a significant gift to X at our institution a while back; How do you feel about how we used your funds?”[144] “When you look at all of your giving, be it time or money, what captures your heart and your attention?”[145]

Part III: After the opening

Follow-up questions

Opening questions start the conversation. But the conversation needs to continue. Follow-up questions can help. These can be open-ended. For example,

“Would you tell me more about that?” “How do you mean?” “How so?” “How did you feel about that?” “How did you feel when that happened?” “What happened next?” “Really! Tell me more.” “What else?” “Can you give me an example of that?” “What led you to that?”[146]

Even better is when the questions are reflective. This shows you’ve been listening. Reflective follow-up questions include,

“Tell me more about ….” “What happened after you …?” “What’s an example of …?” “How does … fit into the picture?”

Reflective summary and confirmation question

The donor has been talking. Hopefully, we’ve been listening. We’ve been listening for links that connect to a challenge. We’ve been listening for identity connections. We’ve been listening for victory connections. In the next step, we summarize and confirm the donor’s connections.

The goal isn’t just to show we’ve been listening. It’s to highlight these connections for the donor. This happens in three steps.[147]

1. Reflective transition

“So, what you are saying is …” “It feels like you are …” “It sounds to me like …” “So, you are thinking about …” “So, what I’m hearing is …” “I’m picking up that …” “I’m noticing that …” “So, your experience has been …” “I’m getting the sense that …” “I think what I heard is that …” “Would I be correct in saying that …” “So, you’re saying that …”

2. Reflective statement

Summarize, highlight, or repeat key statements that support a connection.

3. Confirmation question

“Do I have it right?” “Is that it? Is that right?” “Is that what happened?” “Does that sound right?” “Am I getting it right?” “Is that the right idea?”

Spot solutions

We’ve been listening. We’ve been identifying connections. We’ve been confirming those connections. Now we match these with donor experiences or gift options.

Consider possible experiences. What experiences would strengthen these connections? Are there particular programs, areas, or projects that match? What employees, beneficiaries, or other donors should they meet?

Consider possible gift options. What peers should be present at the solicitation? Are there giving instruments that match? These might be

  • Scholarships
  • Endowments
  • Virtual endowments
  • Charitable trusts
  • Memorial gifts
  • Estate gifts, or
  • Other complex instruments.
Ask for the next step

Typically, initial conversations don’t end with a donation request. But they do end with a request. This might simply be a request to share the next experience. For example,

“Can we set a time so I could show you one of our facilities?”[148] “Do you think you have time for a tour sometime in the next two weeks?”[149] “Would you be interested in attending [this event]?” “I think you would be a fantastic addition to our [board, committee, or group]. What are your thoughts on that?”

Part IV: Challenge

The final step moves towards and then makes a compelling ask. The following are examples of questions and phrases that do this.

Ask for permission to ask

At some point, things progress to a fundraising ask. But the ask shouldn’t be a surprise. (At least not for any significant request.) This isn’t an ambush. Instead, we want permission. We want permission to present an ask.

The ask, however, is described in terms that highlight value. We don’t just want to ask for money. We want to share helpful options. Example phrases include,

“Would you be open to exploring ideas to …”[150] “Would you be interested to hear more about how you could …”[151] “Would you like to hear about some possible ways to …”[152] “We would like to show you some ways that you can … Would you be open to hearing some of these ideas?”[153] “My job is to put together personalized options for you to consider. Would you mind if we set a time to look over some of those ideas together?”

The options we want to share are valuable. They might address problems or barriers for the donor. Example phrases include,

“What if it was possible to make a gift and still [address financial objection]? Would you like to hear about these options?”[154] “If we could show you a way to … would that be of interest?”[155] “There are simple ways to … Would you like to know more about those?”[156] “Can I tell you about a gift option that would …”[157]

The options we want to share are useful. Other people like the donor agree. Example phrases include,

“Others in your situation have … Would you like to hear more about how this works?” “You remind me of another donor. Do you mind if I share her story? She was able to … Is that something that might be useful for you?” “Some of the people I meet with are interested in hearing about ways to … Is that something that might interest you?” “Others who share your feelings have established perpetual funds here as a way of giving back to ‘dear old State.’ Would you like to hear more about setting up such a fund, perhaps in honor or memory of a beloved family member?”[158]

Once we get a yes, we just need a date. Example phrases include,

“Would your calendar allow us to meet this Thursday or next Tuesday?”[159] “How does next Tuesday work for you to meet?”[160]

The ask meeting

Fundraising needs an ask. But the fundraising ask shouldn’t be just a “naked” challenge. It should be part of the full story cycle.

A circular diagram where "Identity"​ (bottom left) links with an arrow pointing to "Challenge"​ (top middle) which links with an arrow pointing to "Victory"​ (bottom right) which links with a backwards arrow pointing back to "Identity"​

The challenge comes from the donor’s identity. It leads to a meaningful victory. The victory is meaningful because it connects with the donor’s identity.

This ask or proposal meeting presents this full cycle. It will describe and confirm the donor’s identity connections:

  • Identity → Challenge
  • Victory → Identity

The “case for support” then shows

  • Challenge → Victory

This step may use a formal proposal document. It will answer,

Why is the project needed?

[It will define a victory.]

Why now?

[It will show the challenge comes from a threat or opportunity that forces a choice.]

How exactly will it work?

[It will show how Challenge → Victory.]

What’s it going to cost?[161]

[It will define the challenge.]

Make the story cycle ask

Finally, the ask itself can present the story cycle one last time.

A circular diagram where "Identity"​ (bottom left) links with an arrow labeled as [1] pointing to "Challenge"​ (top middle) which links with an arrow labeled as [3] pointing to "Victory"​ (bottom right) which links with a backwards arrow labeled [2] pointing back to "Identity"​

[1] Identity → Challenge sentence

“You have … [here describe a connection with the donor’s identity].”

[2] Victory → Identity sentence

“You understand … [here describe how the victory would be meaningful to the donor].”

[3] Challenge → Victory sentence

“Would you consider a gift of $______ to … [here describe the promised victory]?”[162]

Then, be silent. An ask might sound like this:

  • [1] “You have been a friend of this library for over twenty years.” Identity → Challenge.
  • [2] “You understand how a new regional history collection would preserve our shared heritage.” Victory → Identity.
  • [3] “Would you consider a gift of $50,000 to lead the campaign to make this a reality?” Challenge → Victory.

 

  • [1] “You have done so much to improve care for others since your own diagnosis with breast cancer.” Identity → Challenge.
  • [2] “You understand more than anyone how lives can be changed by offering free early screening.” Victory → Identity.
  • [3] “Would you consider a gift of $100,000 to help fund next year’s screening clinics?” Challenge → Victory.

 

  • [1] “You have always had such a heart for supporting the arts in our community.” Identity → Challenge.
  • [2]“You understand how this new exhibition could make a real impact for other art lovers like you and our whole city.” Victory → Identity.
  • [3] “Would you consider a gift of $50,000 as our lead campaign donor to make this happen?” Challenge → Victory.

 

  • [1] “You have been such a loyal alumnus of this department since you graduated years ago.” Identity → Challenge.
  • [2] “You understand how important scholarships are in helping others like you become proud alums of the future.” Victory → Identity.
  • [3] “Would you consider a gift of $100,000 to fund a permanent named scholarship giving students the chance for an education?” Challenge → Victory.
Conclusion

There may not be one magic question. Use whatever works for you. But there is a magic journey. It connects,

  • Original identity to a challenge,
  • The challenge to a victory, and
  • The victory to an enhanced identity

The magic journey is the hero’s journey. It’s also the donor’s journey. Questions can help advance that donor-hero’s journey.

Footnotes:

[1] In his book describing the universal hero story (monomyth), Joseph Campbell writes, “Many tales isolate and greatly enlarge upon one or two of the typical elements of the full cycle (test motif, flight motif, abduction of the bride), others string a number of independent cycles into a single series (as in the Odyssey). Differing characters or episodes can become fused, or a single element can reduplicate itself and reappear under many changes.”

Campbell, J. (2004/1949). The hero with a thousand faces (commemorative ed.). Princeton University Press. p. 228.

[2] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 15.

[3] Sheffield, C. (2020, October). Discovery: How to learn about a donor’s assets. [Presentation]. Emerging Philanthropy Conference, Western PA Chapter Association of Fundraising Professionals and the Pittsburgh Planned Giving Council. Pittsburgh, PA [online]. See also, Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6. (“How did you get connected with ABC Charity?”)

[4] Fredricks, L. (2006). The ask: How to ask anyone for any amount for any purpose. John Wiley & Sons. p. 14.

[5] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[6] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 61; See also, Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. Nashville, TN: CharityChannel Press. p. 89.

[7] Kihlstedt, A. (2013). Asking styles: Harness your personal fundraising power. CharityChannel Press. p. 22.

[8] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 40.

[9] Wilson, T. C. (2008). Winning gifts: Make your donors feel like winners. John Wiley & Sons. p. 115 (“get involved”); Klein, K. (2009). Reliable fundraising in unreliable times: What good causes need to know to survive and thrive. Jossey-Bass, p. 32 (“come to be involved”)

[10] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[11] Janey, S. (2012, October). Start with their dreams: Let major and planned giving techniques follow. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, New Orleans, LA. p. 6.

[12] Kihlstedt, A. (2013). Asking styles: Harness your personal fundraising power. CharityChannel Press. p. 22.

[13] Fridman, N. (2021, May 26). Why now is the perfect time to have a conversation about values, giving and your family’s legacy [PowerPoint slides]. Life and Legacy Annual Gathering, online. p. 18.

[14] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p. 148.

[15] Id.

[16] Fredricks, L. (2006). The ask: How to ask anyone for any amount for any purpose. John Wiley & Sons. p. 6.

[17] Begun, M. S., & Rosandich, S. (2009, October). Retreats, circles, squares & blogs: donor collaborations that work. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 3.

[18] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 5.

[19] Wood, K. (2020, May 7). Personal communication. Kris Wood, Senior Director of Development, College of Arts & Sciences, Texas Tech University.

[20] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[21] Fendrich-Turner, K. (2020, September 9). Personal communication. Katy Fendrich-Turner, Director of Gift Planning, University of Texas – Austin.

[22] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference, Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[23] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[24] Id.

[25] Vidmar, T. (2020, May 1). Personal communication. Tony Vidmar, VP University Advancement and Public Affairs, Midwestern State University.

[26] See James, R. N., III. (2016). Phrasing the charitable bequest inquiry. VOLUNTAS: International Journal of Voluntary and Nonprofit Organizations, 27(2), 998-1011. (Showing the impact of adding the phrase “to support causes that have been important in your life” on interest in making a legacy gift)

[27] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[28] Id.

[29] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 61.

[30] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[31] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[32] Id. at p. 89.

[33] Fridman, N. (2021, May 26). Why now is the perfect time to have a conversation about values, giving and your family’s legacy [PowerPoint slides]. Life and Legacy Annual Gathering, online. p. 18.

[34] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6. (Modified from original “How has ABC Charity impacted your life? Your family or loved ones?”)

[35] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 89.

[36] See similar concept in Fredricks, L. (2001). Developing major gifts: Turning small donors into big contributors. Aspen Publishers, Inc. p. 58.

[37] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[38] Fredricks, L. (2001). Developing major gifts: Turning small donors into big contributors. Aspen Publishers, Inc. p. 59.

[39] Green, F., Wagg, H. & Field, C. (2019). You can’t take it with you: The art and science of legacy fundraising. Independently published. p. 106.

[40] Steenhuysen, J. (2012, October). Philanthropy planning: What to say and do in the room with your donors/clients to explore and document their philanthropy mission. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 7.

[41] Eskin, J. (2019). 10 Simple Fundraising Lessons: A common sense guide to overcoming your fear of asking for gifts. Eskin Fundraising Training, LLC. p. 39.

[42] Modified from Cadogan, E. & Skinner, K. (2016, October). Transformational blended gifts: Shifting the organizational culture. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Dallas, TX, p. 9. (“What motivates/inspires you to make a charitable gift?”)

[43] Brovey, A. (2019). Zen and the art of fundraising: The pillars in practice. CharityChannel Press. p. 10.

[44] Muir, R. (2016, March 18). 21 discovery questions to ask now. [Blog]. https://www.rachelmuir.com/blog/2016/03/18/21-discovery-questions-to-ask-now

[45] Steenhuysen, J. (2012, October). Philanthropy planning: What to say and do in the room with your donors/clients to explore and document their philanthropy mission. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 9.

[46] Sharkey, G. (2021, March 25). Personal communication. Greg Sharkey, Senior Philanthropy Advisor, The Nature Conservancy.

[47] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 147.

[48] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[49] Muir, R. (2015, November 17). 21 discovery questions to ask now. [Blog]. https://trust.guidestar.org/blog/2015/11/17/21-discovery-questions-to-ask-now/

[50] Sheffield, C. R. (2019, August 14). Discovery: How to learn about a donor’s assets. [Webinar slides]. https://www.stelter.com/Documents/pdf/webinars/Stelter%20Discovery%20August-2pp.pdf

[51] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 4.

[52] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 262.

[53] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[54] B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[55] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[56] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 62.

[57] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[58] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planners Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[59] Kihlstedt, A. (2013). Asking styles: Harness your personal fundraising power. CharityChannel Press. p. 22.

[60] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[61] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 261.

[62] Fredricks, L. (2001). Developing major gifts: Turning small donors into big contributors. Aspen Publishers, Inc. p. 59. (Note the emphasis here, “Remember, if you only have time to ask your prospect one question, make sure it’s ‘why do you support us?’”)[63] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[64] Fridman, N. (2021, May 26). Why now is the perfect time to have a conversation about values, giving and your family’s legacy [PowerPoint slides]. Life and Legacy Annual Gathering, online. p. 18.

[65] Tumolo, J. (2016, August 24). The approach. [Blog]. Retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/approach-joseph-tumolo-cap-/

[66] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 76.

[67] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planners Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[68] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 261.

[69] Ross, B. & Segal, C. (2009). The influential fundraiser: Using the psychology of persuasion to achieve outstanding results. Jossey-Bass. p. 239.

[70] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p.58.

[71] Bristol, E. & Lysakowski, L. (2013). The leaky bucket: What’s wrong with your fundraising and how you can fix it. CharityChannel Press. p. 191.

[72] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV, p. 4.

[73] Fredricks, L. (2006). The ask: How to ask anyone for any amount for any purpose. John Wiley & Sons. p. 11. (Also phrased as “Out of all the organizations you could support, what motivates you to give now or to continue to give?” at p. 227.)

[74] Wise, W. & Littlefield, C. (2017). Ask powerful questions: Create conversations that matter. [Audiobook. Radin, D. Narrator, publisher: Podcraft] at [3:41:19] (“I’m asking you to cross off the ‘why’ because ‘why’ may lead to feelings of being attacked or defensiveness.”)

[75] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 262.

[76] Id. at 147

[77] Id. at 262.

[78] Id.

[79] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 76.

[80] Gragg, A. (2019, December 1). 20 questions to ignite meaningful conversations. [Website]. https://www.decideyourlegacy.com/20-questions-to-ignite-meaningful-conversations/

[81] Lydenberg, J. (2007, October 13). Identifying planned gift donors. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Grapevine, TX. p. 4.

[82] Id.

[83] O’Neil, K. (2020, May 6). Personal communication. Kim O’Neil Associate Vice President, Institutional Advancement, Texas Tech University.

[84] Tumolo, J. (2016). Simplify: A simple approach to building a sustainable planned giving program. Independently published. p. 77.

[85] Davidson, P. J. (2012). A planned giving plan of action: A three-year plan. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 1.

[86] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV, p. 4.

[87] Fridman, N. (2021, May 26). Why now is the perfect time to have a conversation about values, giving and your family’s legacy [PowerPoint slides]. Life and Legacy Annual Gathering, online. p. 17.

[88] Bristol, E. & Lysakowski, L. (2013). The leaky bucket: What’s wrong with your fundraising and how you can fix it. CharityChannel Press. p. 186.

[89] Lewzey, E. (2019). 4 powerful questions to ask your donors. [Website]. https://www.blueskyphilanthropy.com/single-post/2019/05/15/4-powerful-questions-to-ask-your-donors

[90] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV, p. 4.

[91] Sharkey, G. (2021, March 25). Personal communication. Greg Sharkey, Senior Philanthropy Advisor, The Nature Conservancy.

[92] Schiller, R. (2017, October). What are donors telling us? [Powerpoint slides]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 34.

[93] Muir, R. (2016, August). The art of discovery and making the ask. [Powerpoint slides]. Presented at Fundraising Day Wisconsin.

[94] E.g., Fendrich-Turner, K. (2020, September 9). Personal communication from Katy Fendrich-Turner, Director of Gift Planning, UT-Austin. (“What kind of impact would you like to have on UT Austin students? Can you tell me more about that?”).

[95] Steenhuysen, J. (2012, October). Philanthropy planning: What to say and do in the room with your donors/clients to explore and document their philanthropy mission. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 9.

[96] See, Chapter 5 “Socratic fundraising foreshadowing: Questions that uncover a meaningful victory”; See also, Begun, M. S., & Rosandich, S. (2009, October). Retreats, circles, squares & blogs: donor collaborations that work. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 2. (“What do you want to accomplish with your philanthropy?”); Advancement Resources. (2017, November 15). The power of the pause: Using silence in donor conversations. [Web page] https://advancementresources.org/the-power-of-the-pause-using-silence-in-donor-conversations/ ; Shaw-Hardy, S., Taylor, M. A., & Beaudoin-Schwartz, B. (2010). Women and philanthropy: Boldly shaping a better world. John Wiley & Sons. p. 115. Quoting from Advancement Resources. (2006). The art and science of donor development workbook. Advancement Resources, LLC. (“What would you want to do with your money that is meaningful to you?”)

[97] Rice, N. (2020, May 4). Personal communication from Nathan Rice, Senior Director of Gift Planning for Institutional Advancement, Texas Tech University.

[98] Wilkes, C. (2020, May 2). Personal communication from Cliff Wilkes, Major Gift Officer, School of Medicine, Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center.

[99] Id.

[100] Lumpkin, S. & Comfort, J. (2018, August 23). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. Colorado Planned Giving Roundtable, 30th Annual Summer Symposium, Denver, CO. This suggestion originated from Jeff Comfort, Vice President, Principal Gifts and Gift Planning, Oregon State University. He labels this, “She came in through the bathroom window,” referencing the Beatles song because it is an indirect approach that eventually leads to the ultimate issue of revealing the amount of the planned gift.

[101] Eskin, J. (2019). 10 Simple Fundraising Lessons: A common sense guide to overcoming your fear of asking for gifts. Eskin Fundraising Training, LLC. p. 39.

[102] Janney, S. (2013, October). The meaning of money. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning. Minneapolis, MN. p. 2.

[103] De Luca, C. C. (2020, May 4). Personal communication. Carolina Camargo De Luca, Discovery Officer, Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center El Paso.

[104] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6. (Notice how this phrase includes both the Original Identity → Challenge link (“You’ve been… and supported…”) and the Victory → Enhanced Identity link (“What are your dreams…”)

[105] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 90.

[106] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[107] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[108] Id.

[109] Ahern, T., & Joyaux, S. P. (2011). Keep your donors: The guide to better communications & stronger relationships. John Wiley & Sons. p. 261.

[110] Id. at p. 11.

[111] McLeod, L. (2013). Selling with noble purpose: How to drive revenue and do work that makes you proud. Wiley. p. 120.

[112] Sagrestano, B. M. & Wahlers, R. E. (2016). Getting started in charitable gift planning: The resource book. CharityChannel Press. p. 9.

[113] Modified from Fredricks, L. (2006). The ask: How to ask anyone for any amount for any purpose. John Wiley & Sons. p. 14. (“what are you most interested in about our organization?”)

[114] Perry, G. (2007). Fired-up fundraising: Turning board passion into action. John Wiley & Sons., p. 122.

[115] Id. at p. 42; See also Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 46. (“Of the things you … know about us, what most excites you?”); Eisenstein, A. (2014). Major gift fundraising for small shops: How to leverage your annual fund in only five hours per week. CharityChannel Press. p. 65. (“What’s the one thing about our work that excites you most?”)

[116] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[117] Perry, G. (2007). Fired-up fundraising: Turning board passion into action. John Wiley & Sons. p. 135.

[118] Fredricks, L. (2001). Developing major gifts: turning small donors into big contributors. Aspen Publishers, Inc. p. 59.

[119] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 79.

[120] Smith, C. (2017). Extend your reach: How major gift officers become active partners in gift planning efforts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 19.

[121] Swank, K. (2009, October). What women want: Understanding the needs and objectives of women’s philanthropic giving, including planned gifts. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, National Harbor, MD. p. 9.

[122] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[123] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 61.

[124] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV, p. 5.

[125] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 62.

[126] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p. 174.

[127] Perry, G. (2007). Fired-up fundraising: Turning board passion into action. John Wiley & Sons. p. 125.

[128] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p. 158.

[129] Modified from De Luca, C. C. (2020, May 4). Personal communication. Carolina Camargo De Luca, Discovery Officer, Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center El Paso.

[130] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p. 157.

[131] Pittman-Schulz, K. (2012, October). In the door and then what? [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 14.

[132] Id. at p. 15.

[133] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. pp. 189-190.

[134] Rothey, R. (2017, October). Bankers and lawyers and CPAs–Oh my! Collaborating with advisers. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning. Baltimore, MD. p. 6.

[135] Muir, R. (2016, August). The art of discovery and making the ask. [Powerpoint slides]. Presented at Fundraising Day Wisconsin.

[136] Eskin, J. (2019). 10 Simple Fundraising Lessons: A common sense guide to overcoming your fear of asking for gifts. Eskin Fundraising Training, LLC. p. 39.

[137] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 61.

[138] Pittman-Schulz, K. (2012, October). In the door and then what? [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 14.

[139] Stroman, M. K. (2014). Asking about asking: Mastering the art of conversational fundraising (2nd ed.). CharityChannel Press. p. 104.

[140] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 53.

[141] Bristol, E. & Lysakowski, L. (2013). The leaky bucket: What’s wrong with your fundraising and how you can fix it. CharityChannel Press. p. 198.

[142] Steenhuysen, J. (2012, October). Philanthropy planning: What to say and do in the room with your donors/clients to explore and document their philanthropy mission. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, New Orleans, LA. p. 8.

[143] Id.

[144] Melvin, A. (2018, October). The ties that bind: Effective cultivation techniques. [Paper presentation]. Charitable Gift Planning Conference. Las Vegas, NV. p. 5.

[145] Perry, R. & Schreifels, J. (2014). It’s not just about the money: How to build authentic major donor relationships. Veritus Group. p. 135.

[146] See examples in Wise, W. & Littlefield, C. (2017). Ask powerful questions: Create conversations that matter. CreateSpace.

[147] Id.

[148] Levine, J. & Selik, L. A. (2016). Compelling conversations for fundraisers: Talk your way to success with donors and funders. Chimayo Press. p. 25.

[149] Id. at p. 7.

[150] Buderus, A. A. & Smith, G. P. (2013, October). Blended gift, eh? Making the most of this emerging workhorse for major and planned gift officers. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Minneapolis, MN, p. 9.

[151] Id.

[152] Brovey, A. P. & Roenigk, P. L. (2008, October 25). How old are you and did you know you could…. Initiating planned gift discussions and getting answers to key questions. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Denver, CO, p. 12.

[153] Buderus, A. A. & Smith, G. P. (2013, October). Blended gift, eh? Making the most of this emerging workhorse for major and planned gift officers. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Minneapolis, MN, p. 9.

[154] Brovey, A. P. & Roenigk, P. L. (2008, October 25). How old are you and did you know you could…. Initiating planned gift discussions and getting answers to key questions. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Denver, CO. p. 9.

[155] Buderus, A. A. & Smith, G. P. (2013, October). Blended gift, eh? Making the most of this emerging workhorse for major and planned gift officers. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Minneapolis, MN, p. 9.

[156] Comfort, J. & Lumpkin, S. (2017, October). How to have the MOST productive conversations: From here to eternity… [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Philanthropic Planning, Baltimore, MD. p. 7.

[157] Brovey, A. P. & Roenigk, P. L. (2008, October 25). How old are you and did you know you could…. Initiating planned gift discussions and getting answers to key questions. [Paper presentation]. National Conference on Planned Giving, Denver, CO. p. 11.

[158] Id. at p. 7.

[159] Pitman, M. A. (2008). Ask without fear! A simple guide to connecting donors with what matters to them most. Tremendous Life Books. p. 38.

[160] Fredricks, L. (2006). The ask: How to ask anyone for any amount for any purpose. John Wiley & Sons. p. 103.

[161] Kihlstedt, A. (2009). Capital campaigns: Strategies that work. Jones & Bartlett Publishers. p. 60. (referencing these four questions to answer in the case for support).

[162] Three sentences adapted from Collins, M. E. (2017, Winter). The Ask. Advancing Philanthropy, 16-23, p. 21. Quoting Marcy Heim. See also, Heim, M. (2018, August 22). Wanna Do EVERYTHING Better? [Website] http://marcyheim.com/wanna-do-everything-better

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