There’s a dangerous myth in fundraising: that success is measured by the number of calls made, visits completed, and dollars raised.
But the truth is, metrics don’t build loyalty. Emotions do.
In fact, most organizations don’t have a retention problem—they have a relationship problem. And that’s why transactional fundraising, focused on short-term asks, often leads to short-lived donors.
If you want transformational giving—the kind that grows over time and creates a legacy—you need to start with something deeper: emotional intelligence.
Why Major Donors Leave
The Fundraising Report Card has long reported that donor retention hovers between 18% (for donors giving under $100) and 38% (for major donors giving $5,000 or more). Think about that: for every 10 low dollar donor you bring in giving less than $100, you’re likely losing more than 82% within 12 months. Why?
It’s not because they stopped caring.
It’s because they stopped feeling connected.
Transactional fundraising treats donors like ATM machines. It’s focused on numbers, not names. Volume, not values. And that kind of approach may work once—but it doesn’t inspire long-term commitment.
What inspires loyalty is emotional resonance. When donors feel seen, heard, and valued—not just for their money, but for who they are—they stick around. In fact, research from Dr. Jen Shang, philanthropic psychologist and co-founder of the Institute for Sustainable Philanthropy, shows that when fundraisers affirm donors’ moral identity, giving and retention both increase.
Emotional Intelligence Turns Gifts into Relationships
Here’s where emotional intelligence changes everything. Fundraisers who develop EI can:
- Ask questions that uncover personal meaning behind gifts.
- Recognize unspoken hesitation or discomfort and respond with grace.
- Express authentic gratitude in ways that connect to a donor’s values, not just their transaction.
I remember one donor who had been giving small annual gifts for years. During a conversation, I asked—not about increasing their gift—but about why they kept giving.
Their answer?
“Because this place changed my life. I just never thought my gift could change someone else’s.”
That insight didn’t come from a wealth screening or a CRM note. It came from listening. From caring. From giving space for emotion to surface. And it led to a six-figure endowment gift—not because I asked, but because I paid attention.
Donor loyalty is about how you make someone feel.
The most loyal donors aren’t the ones who were “closed.” They’re the ones who were understood. And understanding starts with emotional intelligence.
Start with Heart, Build with Trust
Donor loyalty isn’t built through clever campaigns or cleverer copywriting. It’s built through trust. And trust is the result of repeated emotional experiences that reinforce a donor’s sense of purpose, belonging, and belief.
In my book Start with Heart, I explore how fundraisers can create these kinds of experiences—not through manipulation, but through mindfulness. Not through scripts, but through self-awareness and empathy.
That’s how we shift from transactional to transformational.
That’s how we build a fundraising culture that lasts.
Dr. Bill Crouch is the former President of Georgetown College and a longtime fundraising consultant, speaker, and author. His new book, Start with Heart: The Secret Power of Emotions to Catalyze Fundraising Results, invites nonprofit professionals to reimagine fundraising through the lens of emotional intelligence.
Related Resources:
- The Secret Power Behind Every Fundraising Success: Emotional Intelligence
- The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Fundraising: A Lesson from Bill Crouch
- You Don’t Need Data, You Need Actionable Intelligence
- 5 Ways Major Gifts Fundraising Differs from All the Others