There’s a special kind of generosity that lives in planned giving.
It’s forward-looking. Reflective. Sacred. And almost always… deeply emotional.
That’s why emotionally intelligent fundraisers thrive in legacy conversations. They understand that planned giving isn’t about tax advantages or estate documents—it’s about a person’s story, values, and ultimate impact.
In many ways, a planned gift is the donor’s final love letter to the world.
And it’s our job to treat that letter with reverence.
Legacy Giving Is Rooted in Emotional Reflection
Most people don’t make legacy gifts casually. They make them after:
- Losing a loved one.
- Surviving an illness.
- Retiring.
- Becoming grandparents.
- Or reaching a moment of deep reflection.
That’s why emotional intelligence is essential. These conversations aren’t about technical details. They’re about what matters most.
Fundraisers who lead with empathy and patience—rather than urgency or fear—are the ones who unlock legacy commitments that might have otherwise remained unspoken.
What the Research Says
According to Dr. Russell James, legacy gifts are most often inspired when donors reflect on:
- Their personal identity and values.
- A desire to create meaning beyond their lifetime.
- The wish to remain connected to something that matters to them.
It’s no surprise, then, that the most common planned gift conversations don’t start with financial planning. They start with a memory. A feeling. A mission.
That’s not estate planning. That’s emotional work.
And it takes emotional skill to navigate it well.
Emotional Intelligence in Action
So how does EI show up in legacy fundraising? In small, powerful ways:
- Listening without interruption when a donor shares a story about their parents.
- Not rushing to the gift conversation when the time doesn’t feel right.
- Affirming a donor’s desire for significance, even if they don’t have children to leave their wealth to.
- Sitting with silence, allowing emotions to surface without steering the conversation prematurely.
Planned giving is never just a financial transaction.
It’s a moment of existential meaning-making.
And fundraisers who understand that—and honor it—become trusted companions on one of life’s most profound journeys.
Start with Heart, and Stay There
In Start with Heart, I call legacy fundraising “the most emotionally intelligent work in the entire fundraising profession.” It requires every tool we have: empathy, humility, presence, and respect.
You can’t fake this. You can only feel your way into it—with sincerity, trust, and the kind of emotional intelligence that helps another human being say:
“This is how I want to be remembered.”
And when you help a donor write that love letter to the future?
There’s no greater privilege.
Dr. Bill Crouch is a national speaker, consultant, and founder of BrightDot. He helps nonprofit leaders navigate uncertainty with clarity, compassion, and emotionally intelligent fundraising strategies. His book, Start with Heart, offers a roadmap for thriving in both stable and uncertain times.
Related Resources:
- Lessons from a Lifetime in Fundraising: How Emotional Intelligence Fuels the Human Spirit
- Fundraising Is an Act of Love: Emotional Intelligence at Its Best
- From Head to Heart: Teaching Board Members the Power of Emotional Intelligence in Fundraising
- “Start with Heart” Leadership: Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation for Fundraising Success
