The more objectively we study the issue, the more we see that fundraising, particularly soliciting, has much less to do with giving than we have long claimed or assumed. The loss of donors, on the other hand, has much more to do with fundraising practice than we ever realized. In both instances, it’s about the donor’s backstory.
There’s always a personal backstory to giving, whether it is reflective (out of gratitude for some good deed done) or projective (providing donors the opportunity to act what their lives have taught them to be most important). Fundraising appeals strike the chords of donors’ values; they do not string them. So, in most instances, the great pretense of fundraising – “they gave because we asked and because we represent an important institution” – misses the importance of the backstory motivation. When the most personal reasons for giving are neither recognized nor nurtured, donors fall away and continue their quiet quests to find places where their deepest beliefs will be most valued, shared and advanced.
Wes Carter, a psychologist, makes the following points about human relationships:
- “Every person has a unique backstory, and we are each more effective when we take time to learn what makes one another tick.”
- “When someone illustrates they have no interest in knowing my “why,” that is not a person I need to filter my decisions through.”
- “As I feel known, and as I show a willingness to know others, that is how mutual regard is built. Understanding, and the empathy that goes with it, becomes the foundation for successful engagements.”
If, as we hear so often, fundraising is about relationships, shouldn’t we all be learning more about how to listen for the philanthropic backstory and to nurture the “why” of giving? And, of course, the more we learn about them, the more we will realize how the word “fundraising” and the impressions and expectations it creates, continues to constrain the creation of more satisfying, more lasting philanthropic partnerships.
Related Resources:
- Webinar: 4-Step Process for “Reimagining Fundraising Operations”
- The Power of Building Relationships: Why Donors Need Good Fundraisers
- The 6 Core Elements of a Well-Told, Well-Executed Donor Fundraising Story
- Putting Ourselves in the Donor’s Place