Donors Want a Peer-Based Relationship Not a Parental One

Read or listen to institutional fundraising appeals. What are many organizations really asking of their donors? The subtext is rich with the unexpressed but ubiquitous expectations that a child has of a parent – love us as we are, support us as needed, don’t burden us with your dreams, don’t expect us to communicate as often as you would like, and believe that someday we will fully appreciate all you have done for us.

Listen to donors about what they want from nonprofits, including many among the rising generations, and you’ll hear the desire to be treated as a peer – to have a valued place at the planning table, to have their voice and values woven into a compact of shared purposes, to see impact projections in proposals presented to them, to be a part of what is being created, to be kept abreast of initiatives in which they have invested, and to not be asked for more until results are demonstrated.

In many instances, the gap between what organizations want from donors and what donors want from organizations is growing. In some cases, chasms are opening up. Some nonprofit leaders chafe at the notion of donors’ expectations and fret about these growing “intrusions.” Yet, discerning donors make for better organizations and, when they see results, they become better donors. The faster organizations grow up and treat more donors like peers, the more they will be treated as worthy of greater investment.

 

Jim Langley is the president of Langley Innovations. Langley Innovations provides a range of services to its clients to help them understand the cultural underpinnings of philanthropy and the psychology of donors and, with that knowledge, to develop the most effective strategies and tactics to build broader and more lasting communities of support. Jim has authored numerous books, including his most recent book, The Future of Fundraising: Adapting to New Philanthropic Realities, published by Academic Impressions in 2020. 

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